I Have Spent My Career Learning How to Be Kind

We spend years training, researching, surveying, and strategizing—all in pursuit of understanding how to care for one another. We learn about policies, historical injustices, economic structures, and social frameworks, not just to accumulate knowledge, but to figure out how to be kind in ways that actually matter.

Kindness is not just a warm feeling or a polite gesture. It is the deep, intentional work of being a good human. It is understanding what care looks like in practice—not just in sentiment. It is ensuring that our actions, our systems, and our communities reflect a kindness that is not hollow, but substantial.

The Weight of Kindness

We often think of kindness as something simple, something soft. But real kindness carries weight. It requires that we not just acknowledge suffering, but respond to it. It means that we recognize the ways historic and present injustices have shaped our world and take action to undo harm. It means choosing policies, structures, and relationships that reflect a care for those who have been most impacted by past and present decisions.

Kindness is not:

• Sentimentality – It is not just feeling good about doing good. Kindness is not about temporary relief or surface-level gestures that make us feel better—it is about lasting impact. True kindness is not just handing out a meal but working to ensure no one goes hungry.

• Paternalism – It does not assume we know best for others. Kindness respects the autonomy and wisdom of the communities we seek to serve. It does not swoop in with solutions imposed from the outside but listens first and follows the lead of those directly affected.

• Performative – It is not about looking kind, but being kind in ways that create real change. Kindness is not about recognition or public displays of generosity; it is about consistent, behind-the-scenes work that may never be acknowledged but makes a real difference.

The Equity of Kindness 

Kindness is both natural and simple. It is not transactional, nor does it allow for power imbalances, because everyone has the ability to be kind. It does not require wealth, influence, or authority—just the willingness to care for another human being. True kindness levels the playing field because it is a force accessible to all.

One of the most profound examples of kindness I have experienced came from a senior adult who lives in South Dallas and was involved in our community abatement and beautification work. We cleaned up her yard, planted a garden, and fixed her wheelchair ramp. Over time, we built a close friendship. A few months later, I received a letter from her with a $100 bill inside—a donation to our nonprofit. She lived on an income of about $21,000 a year, but she still chose to invest in the success of her own community. That remains the most meaningful donation I have ever received. It showed me that kindness isn’t just about giving—it’s about the deep belief in others, the willingness to contribute even when the cost is high, because the reward is greater.

Kindness as a Force for Change

A focus on kindness does not mean ignoring the real work required to understand systemic injustice. In fact, true kindness requires us to engage deeply with the research, social sciences, and lived experiences that reveal how oppression and inequity function. Learning how to be kind is not a rejection of intellectual or strategic efforts—it is their natural outcome. When we educate ourselves on policies, histories, and economic structures, it is not just for knowledge’s sake, but so that our kindness can be informed, effective, and rooted in justice.

True kindness doesn’t just shape individual relationships—it reshapes systems. It calls us to action, requiring that we take tangible steps toward justice, not just hold good intentions. This means advocating for policies that protect the vulnerable, supporting leaders who prioritize equity, and creating spaces where all people can thrive. It means examining our own roles in sustaining injustice and choosing to disrupt harm where we see it.

We often assume that because injustice is deeply entrenched, the solutions must be just as complex. But while undoing harm takes persistence, the foundation of change is simple: real kindness. When lived out with integrity and action, kindness becomes one of the most radical and transformative forces in our world. At its core, much of our work is about learning how to be kind—fully, deeply, and with conviction. Kindness, when lived out with integrity and action, is one of the simplest yet most important tools for change.